Laughing stock: the light side of life

Smarter blonde
A blonde thought if she dyed her hair brown she would become smarter.

Whilst driving in the country, she spotted this farmer herding sheep and asked him: “If I guess how many sheep you have will you let me have one?” The man said, “Sure.” Well she looked over and over and said 73. He said, “Wow you’re good.” So the blonde claimed her prize. While walking her back to the car, the man said, “If I guess your hair colour can you give me my dog back?”
Not seeing
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.
When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?” He replied, “That would be fine with me.”
Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
Baseball fan
A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game in America and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring run...run! The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: “R-r-run ya boogah, r-run will ya!” A third batter slams a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams “R-r-run ya boogah, r-r-run will ya!” The next batter held his swing at three and two and as the ump calls a walk the Scotsman stands up yelling “R-r-run ya boogah, r-r-run!” All the surrounding fans giggle quietly and he sits down confused.
A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment whispers, “He doesn’t have to run, he’s got four balls.” After this explanation the Scotsman stands up in disbelief and screams, “Walk with pr-r-ride man! Walk with pr-r-ride!”