Education matters

There’s a stereotype that teens don’t manage their emotions, their emotions manage them. But in an atmosphere of trust and support, teens can become adept at identifying their emotions, learn to recognise the tricks emotions play on them … and begin to understand not only how to control their emotions but to use them in positive ways.

There is a direct link between emotional intelligence and anti-social behaviour, therefore, whether they like it or not, a clear discussion about emotions is a good way of preventing potential problems of the future. 

Anti-social behaviour can be identified in children as young as three or four years of age and if left unchecked these coercive behaviour patterns will persist and escalate in severity over time, becoming a chronic behavioural disorder. 

Examples of anti-social behaviour are:

Repeated violations of social rules

Defiance of authority and of the rights of others

Deceitfulness and theft

Reckless disregard for self and others.

Anti-social behaviour may be overt, such as aggressive actions against siblings, peers, parents, teachers, or other adults, verbal abuse, bullying and hitting; or covert, such as aggressive actions against property, theft, vandalism and fire-setting. Covert anti-social behaviour in early childhood may include noncompliance, sneaking, lying, or secretly destroying another’s property.

Anti-social behaviour is frequently accompanied by other behavioural and developmental problems such as hyperactivity, depression, learning disabilities and impulsivity, with children raised in anti-social families being more likely to be anti-social themselves.

So, with this maelstrom of potential anti-social behaviour waiting to happen, how can parents, teachers and social workers make the chances of it occurring less likely? 

Discussing a range of emotions such as exhilaration, disappointment, anger and anxiety in a supportive atmosphere, sharing wisdom and knowledge about how to deal with these feelings is by far the best way to introduce young adults to the concept, but frank talk like this comes easier to some adults. The best way to get simple messages across is to keep it as short, simple and easy to understand as possible. For example:

When you’re tired, you’re more likely to be emotional.

You shouldn’t always say the first thing that comes to your brain as it is usually emotional, not rational. 

Negative emotions can be transmitted to others. If you complain a lot, it sets a negative tone.

Students become more aware of their own emotional patterns by observing the responses of others. They need to learn how to use positive emotion. 

A moody teenager can be influenced by all sorts of things - problems with a girlfriend, peer pressure, or a bad test or examination mark, but if parents have worked at establishing an atmosphere of trust, it can make the emotional rollercoaster of puberty a little easier to handle.

Every day adults are dealing with feelings and navigating all the complexities of interpersonal relationships. Unfortunately, some adults express their emotions in destructive ways, but if you’ve learned to manage your emotions as a teenager, you’re way ahead of the game.