Flip through the latest issue of Gulf Weekly.
Chat up lines! The bane of a woman’s night out as well as the basis for many a woman’s amusing anecdote.
It never ceases to amaze me just how corny even the most intellectual of males can be when they set their sights on their chosen target. Though most of us girlies would agree that a well delivered line — however corny — might earn you boys a couple of minutes grace, it takes something really original to have any kind of affect.
According to an article by Tracey Cox, statistics show that it takes between 90 seconds and four minutes for us to decide whether or not we’re attracted to someone: “Fifty-five per cent of the impression we get from someone comes through our body language, thirty-eight per cent is from tone and a mere seven per cent is from what we’re actually saying”. With that said lads, chat up lines will rarely do you any favours.
Body language plays a huge role in deciding whether we fancy someone or not and it works both ways. Sarah Hudson is one of the prettiest and personable girls I know but she says: “It’s very rare for a guy to come up and talk to me. They will usually come up and start a conversation with whoever I’m with and after a while they will remember their manners and talk to me too. Then they always express surprise that I’m not stuck up. I guess my body language must scream ‘go away’ which is not at all what I intend it to say.” Without meaning to or even realising that we do it, we often close ourselves off to meeting new people. Turning away from eye contact because we’re embarrassed to be caught staring at someone we fancy can often be miss-interpreted and give that person the impression we’re not interested in them. If you like someone turn your body in their direction to let them know you’re open to a conversation and make eye contact but not so much that they think you’re the next Ted Bundy/ Jill.
If you have to use a chat up line, you really do need to be original and the sad fact of the matter is that there is no such thing as an original line. Whatever line you can come up with, I can guarantee it’s been heard and cringed at before. You would do much better to try and create a reason to go up to your intended victim and start a conversation with them that way. If you see a girl you like waiting to be served at the bar go up and stand next to her. When she orders her drink you can make a light hearted joke about how last time you had a night out drinking her chosen tipple, you woke up feeling like death warmed up — ok, not the most original thing to say but you get my point and if she likes you she’ll laugh anyway and offer a comment in return. If she doesn’t she’ll smile politely and turn away and you won’t be left cringing for the rest of the night because you said something embarrassing. The point is, by trying to casually start a conversation you’re not giving the impression of being pushy and the girl is more likely to think of you as being friendly rather than feeling that you’re trying to hit on her. “The first time I met my boyfriend he was trying to help his drunk friend to the bathroom,” says Nicole Phillips, “he made a joke about how it would be easier if he had a wheelbarrow to push him in. It wasn’t particularly funny but it broke the ice and when he came back I had a reason to talk to him. We’ve been together for a year and a half now and I wouldn’t swap him for the world”.
For the very brave and good looking there’s always the ballsy approach. Danielle Davies says: “My friends and I had been talking to a group of lads for a few minutes when one of them started staring at my eyes quizzically. He asked me if they were my real eyelashes and when I said yes he told me to close my eyes so he could have a better look. As soon as I closed them he planted a kiss on my lips and then stood back with a cheeky grin. Under normal circumstances he’d have got a slap back to his nappy years but he was so good looking he managed to get away with looking like a naughty schoolboy.” But before you all go out and try that little gem, bear in mind that it takes a lot of courage to do and the looks of Adonis to carry it off.
At the end of the day it doesn’t take a genius to work out that if you want to get anywhere with a woman, you need to make her feel good about herself. Nine out of 10 chat up lines involve sexual innuendo, some are subtle but most are slap-you-in-the-face obvious and therein lies a large part of the reason why most chat up lines will earn you derision rather than praise. No girl (well very few anyway) wants to be made to feel that all you want is to get her into bed. Showing a little respect and restraint and making her feel like something more than just a receptacle for your manhood (I use the term loosely) is much more likely to get you a phone number.
So there you have it. Unless you can be 100 per cent sure that your chat up line is funny enough to work, you’d do much better just being yourself (unless yourself entails being a complete moron). Start off a conversation in much the same way you would with another guy but bear in mind that compliments on their car or discussions on the length of another girls’ legs probably won’t work. Enough said... time go and charm the pants off some poor unsuspecting bint.
· Marie-Claire
