Coping with hyperactive children

Dear Betsy,I always enjoy your articles about aromatherapy and want to know, what is the best oil to use for a hyperactive child? I don't want to give him drugs, he is only four, but he never sits still and at night is it very difficult to get him to go to sleep and when he does he wakes up after an hour or so.

I have tried Camomile tea but it did not work.

What do you suggest?

Petra.

Dear Petra,

I know exactly how you feel. I had two sons who were both hyperactive and it can be thoroughly exhausting!

Camomile tea can help, but if it is one of the ready-made baby tea drinks then make sure it is not full of sugar or any other additives. It is best to use some Camomile flowers and brew your own tea for him adding only a small amount of sugar, if at all.

You will find dried Camomile flowers in Lebanese supermarkets and it is a soothing drink for adults too.

Lavender can be very relaxing but I prefer to prescribe this for adults. In my experience small children respond better to Chamomile essential oil. Make sure it is Roman Chamomile and not German, as they have very different therapeutic properties. Roman Chamomile has a very low toxicity level and is safe for small children. My own recipe for hyperactivity in children is as follows:

2 drops sweet orange oil

1 drop Roman Chamomile oil

10mls (dessertspoon) of cold pressed sweet almond oil

Mix together and use as a body massage oil after his bedtime bath. Massage gently into his back, chest, legs, arms and tummy.

Do this in his bedroom with soft lighting and talk softly and soothingly to him.

Pop his pyjamas on, tuck him up in bed and try reading him a bedtime story. Do not allow him to have a television on in his bedroom, make sure the room temperature is comfortable and make this bedtime ritual a regular routine.

Kids need routine and they need to know gently, but firmly, who is boss. This won't be easy, as he will test you, but stand firm and tell him that it is now time to go to sleep and every time he gets out of bed you must patiently return him and tuck him in again.

It may take a few weeks of doing this to get the message across to him so don't weaken. It will also help to make sure he gets plenty of physical exercise during the day to make sure he has every opportunity to be tired at bedtime.

Ensure that his diet is as free from artificial additives, especially "E" additives in foods and drinks and don't let him have fizzy drinks or sweets. Let him know how loved he is and praise him for his good behaviour when he stays in bed and let him know what fun things you have in store for him tomorrow after he has a good night's sleep.

He may cry and plead with you, but provided he is not genuinely in any distress, keep putting him back to bed and tucking him in with his favourite soft toy and a good night kiss.

Try hard not to get upset or angry with him as kids can pick up on this so easily and before you know it, the lunatics are running the asylum, or at least that's what it can seem like. Love, patience and regular routines make for happy families.

BETSY SAYS RELAX...

Visit the "Masques - Beaute des Esprits" exhibition at the Bahrain National Museum. This is a collection of masks from around the world that has been put together especially for Bahrain by the Musee du Quai Branly in Paris. It makes an interesting and thought provoking spectacle for all the family and affords you the opportunity to educate and entertain at the same time.

Dear Betsy,

I have a very demanding father-in-law who delights in finding fault with everything I do.

My in-laws live in the UK so I only really have to put up with them when we go back on holiday each summer or sometimes at Christmas.

My husband has just told me he and my mother-in-law are coming to stay with us this summer while their house has some repair work done to it. This will take several weeks and I really don't know how I am going to cope with him.

My husband will be at work all day and I will be left to listen to his constant nagging and criticisms about everything from my choice of dŽcor to the kind of butter we use to the untidiness of the kitchen cupboards.

My mother-in-law is a saint compared to him and she also comes under fire from him but just shakes her head and laughs whereas I get very upset and take it personally.

I don't work as we have a three-year-old and a five-year-old who keep me busy, so I can't even use work as an escape and the kids won't be at school as it will be the summer holidays and he will nag about them being noisy and untidy.

What can I do to make things bearable this summer?

Very worried wife.

Dear very worried wife,

I do feel for you ... this must be difficult to bear, and in your own home too!

The first few days and possibly the first week should be quite bearable for you so I suggest that you stay for the first week they are here then pack up the kids and go back to UK and stay with your family for the summer.

Let him stay and moan to his heart's content and let your long suffering mother-in-law cope with him and his unkindness and with a bit of luck your husband will have his eyes opened and be more sympathetic to your plight in future.

That way they get to see their grandchildren for a while and they get to enjoy their son all to themselves and your husband hopefully learns to appreciate his saint of a wife a bit more! Happy holidays.

Dear Betsy,

Thank you for your excellent article on sun-tanning and sun-beds.

I have always loved lying in the sun and never really thought about the consequences until I read your article and spotted that shocking photograph and then a day later, I heard the same warnings and advice on the Oprah show.

It has really made me think seriously about the potential dangers of sunbathing and what a really serious health risk it is.

I also used to use sunbeds twice a week when I lived in London as there was so little sunlight there and I just felt better with a tan.

Even last week I was lying in the sun with no proper sun cream, I only used baby oil as I thought that would give me a better tan and I never thought about skin cancer.

Thank you for bringing me to my senses.

I wish someone would educate young people about the dangers of sunbathing just as they do about drugs and smoking as I can now see how dangerous it is.

With thanks and warm wishes,

Leigh Parker.

Dear Leigh,

I also caught that Oprah show and wasn't it scary?

Skin cancer is on the increase, even in the UK, so you can imagine how much more care we need to take in the Gulf climate.

We need to be aware that skin cancer can be fatal. Scientists agree that sun damage in childhood can be particularly dangerous and in my mind any parent who allows a young child out into the sun without adequate sun protection, is guilty of child abuse.

I sat on the beach the other day watching small kids playing in the sun with their parents, without a sun hat, adequate clothing or any visible form of protection.

I agree that it would be a good idea if safe-sun education were included as part of a school curriculum when they are teaching about personal healthcare, but it seems to me that there are lots of parents out there who need educating also.

Remember that sun products should be new and not last year's dregs recycled, to ensure their efficacy and they should be placed gently on the skin rather than mercilessly rubbed in as this can break down the protective elements so as to render them practically useless.

They should be reapplied every hour and also after bathing. Insist on UVA and UVB protection in a sun cream and the fairer your skin the higher the Sun Protection Factor (SPF) should be.

Don't forget to use a lip balm with a high SPF (25+) as the lips are particularly vulnerable. Check regularly for moles. Any that suddenly grow, have irregular or crusty edges or change in any way should be checked out by your physician as soon as possible.

Remember that prevention is always easier than cure, and a sun-tan is a sign of sun damage. I make no apologies for repeating most of the advice in this article, as if it helps just one reader to make informed choices about safe-sun exposure then it will have been worthwhile.

If you only do one thing this week

Try a little bit of self-massage to release that pent up tension in your jaw. Many of us store tension here without realising it.

Grinding our teeth, either in sleep, or during stressful situations, such as being stuck in traffic, facing a gruelling business situation or meeting work deadlines can all result in a build up of tension in this area.

Begin by using your middle and index fingers and massage in firm circular movements an inch in from the bottom of your ear lobe, repeat rhythmically for two minutes then move your fingers two inches along the jawline and repeat, moving two inches further along every two minutes until your fingers meet at your chin.

Next, open your mouth as wide as you can and stick your tongue down, and out, as forcefully as you can and hold for one minute.

You will instantly feel a sense of relief and relaxation.