Shop staff should shape-up service

Dear Betsy,I am sick of going into the big shopping malls, spending money to buy clothes, only to have the shop assistant bundle the clothes unceremoniously into a bag.

By the time I get home they need to be ironed before I can wear them. It drives me mad, why can't they be trained to fold clothes properly to ensure they still look like new rather than a pile of old rags when I get them home.

This is not just one shop; it is true of many of the big fancy outlets in the malls.

Leanne.

Dear Leanne,

Yes I know this is frustrating, the same thing happens to me. Actually, I have been known to take the garment back out of the bag and show them how to fold it properly!

This is not unique to Bahrain, Leanne. I have just returned from the UK where the same thing happened to me in several shops.

The best outlets are the ones that take the time to pack your purchases in tissue paper.

I know that Monsoon and Hobbs do this, in the UK and Bahrain, so other shops please take note. It can't really be that difficult for stores to add this simple, but vital, customer service skill to the training programmes.

Training institutes in the retail skills sector, please take note! I think it is important to make your feelings known to the manager of the store and if enough customers complain and make them aware of this then it is more likely to be corrected.

l Do you have a pet hate? Share it with Besty.

Dear Betsy,

I have just returned from vacation in the UK where my aged father is not keeping well. It was difficult to leave him behind, he is in his 80s, but I needed to get my daughter back to school in Bahrain.

My father is not able to look after himself very well now, he lives alone and doesn't seem to be eating well.

I get frustrated and angry with my brothers who both live within 15 minutes of him, but rarely visit.

Their attitude is just to put him into an old people's home, as they don't want the responsibility of taking care of him, but I feel this would make him very unhappy. What advice can you give me Betsy?

A Guilt Ridden Daughter.

Dear Guilt Ridden Daughter,

Sometimes, the best thing to do is the most difficult thing to do. We never want to face up to our parents' mortality and discovering that the 'parent/child' relationship is slowly being reversed is not easy to deal with, no matter how old we are.

You are obviously feeling that classic 'expat guilt' about not being able to be with your dad when you feel he needs you most.

It is difficult to balance the needs of your own family against that of your parent and trust me, there are not many expats who won't go through something similar at some time of their lives.

I know you may be feeling angry with your brothers, but remember they have their own lives, and presumably families, too and the pace of life in the UK is hectic, with work, commuting, domestic life and all the pressures that go with that.

Sometimes, with our privileged lifestyle in Bahrain, it is easy to forget the realities of the daily grind of just surviving without domestic help and the high-level of support services we enjoy here.

If possible, you need to have a family meeting (telephone, MSN, Skype) to discuss what is best for your dad, once you have received a medical report about the state of his physical and mental health.

It will be difficult to remain unemotional, but the most important thing to remember is that you need to do what is best, and safest, for your dad in the long term.

If he is mentally still very capable and able to understand that he has to leave his home, this will initially be a big wrench for him, but it is best to point out the positives to him.

For instance, he will have lots of company as and when he wants it, but will still have privacy. He will have someone to cook for him, do his laundry and companions to chat to, play chess with, reminisce with and, of course, family visits. You must make it clear that he is not being 'abandoned' and you and your siblings need to commit to a visiting rota.

This will obviously be more difficult for you, but you could commit to visiting him every day when you are in the UK.

You can write to him, send him family pictures and cards, telephone him and send him emails. Keeping up regular contact of some sort is the most important aspect here, for both of you.

I often feel that at this stage in their lives, even the strongest, most independently-minded parent may be secretly waiting for someone-else to make this decision.

Many elderly people may find it difficult to ask for help, and you might be surprised at how relieved they may be when they realise they can relax and let their loved ones take responsibility for their welfare for a change.

BETSY SAYS RELAX

Give your tongue, throat and voice-box a rest ... and the ears of other too!

Announce that you are going to have a whole 'hour of silence' at home. Ban music, TV, radio and telephones and just savour the solitude of silence as you read, relax, write or simply chill with your imagination running riot.

IF YOU ONLY DO ONE THING THIS WEEK

Enjoy visiting some of the wonderful Ramadan tents around the kingdom. Ramadan evenings are a time to visit friends and family, socialise and value those special relationships. If going out doesn't appeal then host a Ghabga at home for Muslim and non-Muslim friends alike and feel a part of the special spirit of the Holy Month.