Music Box

WITH the football season seemingly never ending in recent years, these poor humble soccer players don’t seem to be getting much chance of a holiday as the European Championships are in full swing, plus a host of World Cup qualifying matches taking place around the globe.

A suggestion was sent through to me about reminiscing about the attempts of players and teams to enter the music charts, so I give to you a small run-down of the awesome, the not-so-awesome and the downright complete rubbish songs that professional footballers have had to offer the fans.

Let’s begin with some offerings from legendary footballers (who should have known better) by mentioning classics such as Paul Gascoigne’s terrible cover of Fog On The Tyne (including a Gazza rap), Andy Cole ruining Outstanding and Kevin Keegan complete with his tight perm with Head Over Heels In Love.

I’m shuddering whilst writing this remembering just how bad these songs were, and the videos were even worse. 

Some mid-table type productions all worthy of a mention are Chelsea’s Blue Is The Colour, the Cockerel Chorus singing Nice One Cyril in honour of Spurs, northern blokes Ant & Dec with a very chirpy We’re On The Ball and Fat Les with the irritatingly catchy Vindaloo.

Top of the table could well be soccer songs like Ricky Martin’s 1998 World Cup song La Copa de la Vida, the gorgeous Shakira with her Waka Waka rendition, the England national team with the 1970 number one hit Back Home, and of course there is the 1990 England team alongside New Order with the irrepressible World In Motion which featured the John Barnes rap that every football fan at that time could recite with or without a backing track.

But I’m thinking top of the list has to be the Lightning Seeds featuring comedians David Baddiel and Frank Skinner with the Euro 96 anthem Three Lions. I have heard this song sung by fans of many nations in various countries, and not always when England are in attendance – so for this reason alone I vote it my number one football song.

Hopefully England and the Republic of Ireland can do us all proud in the forthcoming weeks (good luck boys), and I’ll leave you with some words of wisdom: Never buy a Rolex from a person who is out of breath!