I was having brunch with a group of my girlies last Friday and out of the six around the table, two are happily married, one is in a so-so relationship and three of them are in marriages where the men have no appreciation for what they've got.
As I looked around at the women sitting with me I couldn't help but wonder what goes through a man's mind to make them so complacent and blind to how much damage they're actually doing to their relationships by failing to treat their women like they deserve to be treated.
We're talking about smart, well put together women of above average attractiveness. They all have a natural beauty and look younger than they are and they all make the best of themselves without being overly obsessed with the way they look.
They're also funny, thoughtful, resourceful, caring and will do pretty much anything for their families and loved ones. They're what I've heard many men describe as 'a damn good catch' and yet the men that have them ignore them, take them for granted and in two of the cases shout at, insult and verbally abuse them on a regular basis.
Of course, on the opposite side of the table (figuratively speaking) I also know some of the nicest, kindest guys on the planet who just can't catch a break when it comes to finding a women to get into a relationship and fall in love with.
So I guess the real question is why is it we (men and women) find it so hard to appreciate what's right under our noses? Is it that we get complacent or are we so conceited that we think we can do better? Or worse still, are we just ignorant?
One guy I know freely admits that the woman in his life is a rare find.
She's sexy and fun to be around, thoughtful and caring and gives him all the freedom he needs to spend time with his friends, many of which have told him how lucky he is and how they wished they could find a woman like her. He admits she's all of these things but even so it doesn't stop him from not really doing anything to nurture the relationship.
Don't get me wrong, he isn't mean and does not treat her badly - she's not the kind of girl that would put up with that - he just doesn't put a whole lot of effort into making sure she would want to stick around.
They get on brilliantly and always have fun when they're together, alone or with friends, but he never feels the need to do anything special for her and there's little or no romance to speak of.
He fully appreciates her to himself but he somehow thinks that that's enough. It's doubtful that it's even crossed his mind that because she is the person she is, there are lots of guys out there that would be happy to treat her better and snatch her up from right underneath his nose.
I use this couple as an example but really, it's going on all around us all the time.
Very few of us know how to truly value the people in our lives, be it family, friends or partners.
Once the initial excitement of a new person in our life fizzles out and the 'honeymoon period' is over, we inevitably start taking each other for granted not fully appreciating what we've got ... until it's gone.
