SHOW DOGS review
Starring: Will Arnett, Chris Bridges, Natasha Lyonne.
Director: Raja Gosnell
Genre: Adventure, Comedy, Family
Rating: PG15
RUNTIME: 134 Mins
Buddy cop films are a cinematic staple, but it’s a rare feat to butcher a genre with tired old clichés that keep squeaking for dear life like a long-abused chew toy you should’ve thrown out months back.
We still hold onto it out of a sense of sentiment, but, really, it’s just a breeding ground for bacteria and bad smells.
Show Dogs is very much barking up the wrong tree.
We follow Max (played by Chris ‘Ludacris’ Bridges), a macho, solitary Rottweiler police dog who is ordered to go undercover as a primped show dog in a prestigious Dog Show, along with his human partner Frank, played by Will Arnett.
Their mission is to stop a ring of exotic animal smugglers, who all somehow manage to be about as threatening as a bag of cuddly toys.
Even by the low standards of this kind of live-action, family-friendly comedy, Show Dogs manages to hit rock bottom.
The characters are barely there at all, the visual effects manage to be both cheesy and useless, and I dare you to find one redeemable joke in the entire hour-and-a-half screen time.
The characters are probably the most disappointing, especially as these actors haven’t just come out of the woodwork. Arnett has a great comedy history, especially in Arrested Development, and Natasha Lyonne shone in Orange Is The New Black, so seeing them both reduced to this offering is shameful.
Of the handlers, Arnett has the terse air of a man doing anything he can to keep up with his alimony payments; Natasha Lyonne submits to a makeover so comprehensive she’s all but unrecognisable, which is probably a smart move on reflection. Mostly, it is anonymous voices growling unfunny references, very cheaply inserted between the jaws of creatures with no idea of the indignities this production had in store for them.
The whole set-up of a dog and cop duo fighting bad guys by embracing their pretty side feels straight out of the 1980s, with hints of the classic Miss Congeniality skimmed off the top, so the premise is already dubious.
Add in a messy plot with little direction, and you already have chaos. To anyone looking for something more, it’s an exercise in futility.
Look, I understand. This movie isn’t trying to be intellectual, it’s not trying to push any boundaries – except perhaps in the number of jokes one can crack about a dog’s behind – and it’s not trying to impress me. Maybe I would even respect it if it were trying to do anything at all, but that’s exactly the issue.
Perhaps younger viewers might find some candy cane enjoyment in it, the kind where something is funny because it’s so wildly ridiculous. In that case, who am I to judge? However, by the standards of what it means to be a good comedy, it’s a complete failure.
Now showing in: Cineco, Seef II, Dana Cinemas, Wadi Al Sail, Mukta A2, Al Jazeera
Anna’s verdict: 1/5
