My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese. Most of it is missing and what’s there stinks.
I’ve had so much plastic surgery, that when I die, I will donate my body to Tupperware.
A man is reading the newspaper and says to his wife: “Michelle, look. Here is an article about how women use about twice as many words per day as men do.”
The wife responds: “That’s because we have to tell you everything twice”
