Flip through the latest issue of Gulf Weekly.
Well, I finally arrived in Blighty after a very harrowing experience on-board that so called “Five Star Airline”.
Being the good chap I am, I checked in at 10.30 for my 12.30 flight to Heathrow and after giving the credit card a right walloping in the duty free shop I boarded the plane, on time at 11.45, as it said on my boarding card. Then it all went totally pear-shaped.
The scheduled take off time of 12.30 came and went, then 1pm came and went, another glass of water and it was now 2pm. I was now getting a little bit agitated but there was worse to come!
Finally at 2.45pm El Capitano (who had been very quiet up till now) announces that we are ready to go, even though I can see through the window a huddle of guys outside unloading containers of baggage and sending them up the conveyor belt one by one.
Another 25 minutes went by and then all of a sudden we were being pushed back and I thought to myself “I bet they make up the time on-route”.
It took forever taxiing to the end of the runway and then with engines screaming we launched off down the runway. Next thing I know he slams on the brakes and it all went very quiet. Slowly we taxied back and he trundles along yet again to the end of the runway and off we go again, engines screaming even louder and yet again the brakes are slammed on.
Luckily we made it into the air on the third attempt but I kept wondering why nobody was telling all us poor sods what was going on.
Another thing that puzzles me is why do they always have two choices on the menu and when you ask for the chicken they say they have run out, even though I was only five rows from where they started serving. HELLO! We obviously want chicken, that’s why we ordered it — so put more onboard. “Five Star Airline” my ass! Forgive me Golden Falcon airlines I’ll never leave you again.
Er...Indoors was sitting there to meet me once I finally arrived, nearly three hours late, and could obviously see by my facial expression that a cold beer or two was the preferred option and we headed off to the Wheatsheaf and met up with a few of the chaps.
After the 5th or 6th Amber Throat Charmer I had finally stopped trembling and it was with cheers reverberating around the bar that Jeffro the Landlord announced that there was to be a “Lock-In” in celebration of my birthday, even though it was the next day. Funny enough these lock-ins are becoming a daily occurrence which is a nice touch — thanks Jeffro.
It’s Grandson Jack’s christening on Sunday and Er Indoors has invited about 250 people to Casa Da Doo Ron Ron apres the church so that should be a hoot.
So what’s been happening in Q-Land since I left?
My old pal QP said that he didn’t get too many applicants for the baby-sitting job so come one Q-Landers, there must be a saucepan or two looking to earn a few quid.
Who’s yer Doha Daddy?
by Da Doo Ron Ron
