Flip through the latest issue of Gulf Weekly.
The good nurse
A doctor is going round the ward with a nurse and they come to the first bed where the chap is laying half dead.
“Did you give this man two tablets every eight hours?” asks the doctor.
“Oh, no,” replies the nurse, “I gave him eight tablets every two hours!”
At the next bed the next patient also appears half dead.
“Nurse, did you give this man one tablet every 12 hours?”
“Oops, I gave him 12 tablets every one hour,” replies the nurse.
Unfortunately at the next bed the patient is well and truly deceased, not an ounce of life. “Nurse,” asks the doctor, “did you prick his boil?”
“OH MY GOODNESS!” replies the nurse.
— from Anthony Burrows, Dubai
Controlling the wife
There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.
After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, “Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?”
The third fellow says “I’ll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.”
The first two guys were amazed. “What happened then?” they asked. “She said, ‘get out from under the bed and fight like a man’.”
— from Daryl Foster, Bahrain
A relative matter
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about all his employees’ well- being, asked sympathetically, “What’s the matter?” To which the blonde replies... “Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.”
The boss feeling very sorry at this point explains to the young girl. “Why don’t you go home for the day... we aren’t terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest.” The blonde very calmly states...“No.. I’d be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.” The boss agrees and allows the blond to work as usual... “If you need anything just let me know.”
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde...he looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!!!!! He rushes out to her asking “What’s so bad now... are you gonna be okay??”
“No...” exclaims the blonde, “I just received a horrible call from my sister and she said that her mom died too!”
— from Brenda Bedi, Mumbai
