Flip through the latest issue of Gulf Weekly.
What’s in a name?
A gent spots a nice looking girl in a bar goes up and starts small talk. Seeing that she didn’t back off he asked her name.
“Carmen,” she replied.
That’s a nice name,” he said warming up the conversation, “Who named you, your mother?”
“No, I named myself,” she answered.
“Oh, that’s interesting. Why Carmen?”
“Because I like cars, and I like men,” she said looking directly into his eyes. “So what’s your name?” she asked.
“Beersex.”
Right on the dot
A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they’d found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.
“It’s a period,’’ said the little boy.
“Well, I can see that,’’ she said, ‘’but what is so exciting about a period?’’
‘’Damned if I know,’’ said the little boy, ‘’but this morning my sister was missing one, daddy had a heart attack, mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself.”
The knitting blonde
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realising that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULLOVER!
“NO,” the blonde yelled back,” IT’S A SCARF!”
Cutting the tail
Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet. “Doctor,” he said sadly, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to cut off my dog’s tail.”
The vet stepped back, “Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?”
“Because my mother-in-law’s arriving tomorrow, and I don’t want anything to make her think she’s welcome.”
