Ask Betsy

Dear Betsy,
How can I get my husband to help with the washing up? I know this sounds like a stupid thing to write to you about but he has driven me mad for nine years with his refusals to help around the house. 

We do not have a maid and I work all day, come home and cook dinner then have to do the washing up while he lies and watches television then falls asleep.
I don’t mind doing all the other house work things but hate washing up and he always says he will help ‘in a minute’ but  never does. Please help me find a way to motivate him.
Desperate Housewife, Saar.

Dear Desperate Housewife,
I wonder how many women will read your letter and recognise something of their own domestic situation!  To be quite honest if you have let him get away with this for nine years, then it is going to take some dramatic action on your part to motivate him.  
Have you tried withdrawing some of your household services? (The immediate one that comes to mind is your culinary skills, although I bet you can think of others...) Stop cooking him dinner.  However, that may not work very well as the male of the species can be very resourceful when it comes to filling their stomachs. He would find the nearest fast food delivery quicker than you could blink. If he is too stingy to pay for a maid then the chances are that getting him to fork out for a dishwasher would be out of the question. I think that what is called for here is a bit of creative lateral thinking … sell the television and buy a dishwasher.

Dear Betsy,
My 12-year-old daughter has recently been told she is gluten intolerant and can’t eat anything with wheat in it.
She loves bread and I have not been able to find any wheat-free bread for sale. What can I do to make sure her diet is wheat free?
The nutritionist gave me a big list of things she can’t eat but I don’t know what alternatives are available.
Ella, Janabiya

Dear Ella,
It used to be impossible to find any special foods in Bahrain for people who are gluten intolerant, but that is no longer the case. 
Many of the supermarkets have these items, but they are not always in a separate section and you may have to search the shelves carefully. Try Alosra (Spinney’s) in Saar who do have a special section, just after the fruit and veggie department, Al Jazira and Jawads also have special “in-store” health food sections where you can find everything from gluten-free flour to wheat-free soy sauce.
Amazing to think that soy sauce contains wheat, but if you take some time to read labels you may be amazed at what you find listed. 
For most people who are gluten intolerant, the thought of giving up bread can be very depressing. However, some supermarkets will take special orders to make spelt bread for you.
The thought of making bread yourself can be quite daunting but I have tried wheat-free flour to make bread and found it works best when you add a little more liquid to your recipe.
My favourite is an Australian brand called Orgran, which comes in both plain and self-raising varieties. It is made largely from maize, tapioca and rice flour. I tried it on a few wheat addict friends of mine who still don’t know that they ate bread made with wheat-free flour! 
You can buy bread-making machines here now and they usually include recipes books for wheat-free breads. 
I have emailed you my favourite very simple recipe for home-made wheat-free bread without all the hassle of using yeast. I hope your daughter likes it.
 If your daughter gets an upset tummy whilst she is adjusting her diet, then a few fresh sprigs of peppermint made into a ‘tea’ with boiling water  don’t add any tea) can help calm her tummy. 
You could also try making  my “Soothing Tummy Rub’ using two drops of peppermint essential oil, three drops of roman chamomile oil, in a dessertspoon (10mls) of sweet almond oil and rub gently into her tummy and lower back to ease discomfort.
This can help with digestive upsets such as Irritable Bowel Syndrome, but is not a substitute for medical treatment, which you should always seek if in doubt.
It can also be best to avoid fizzy drinks and ensure she drinks around two litres of still mineral water each day.

Dear Betsy,
I read you were psychic, so can you tell me what the winning lottery numbers are going to be this week?
Smug Punter

Dear Smug Punter,
I am intuitive rather than psychic, and my intuition is telling me that with a name like that, professional help is your best option.
The numbers I see for you can be found in the telephone directory under “hospital”.

BETSY SAYS,  RELAX
Chill out with some deep breathing. Place your hand on the upper part of your tummy,  inhale slowly and deeply through your nose making sure your stomach  swells out and rises as you do so. Exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat three or four times.
This abdominal breathing can be done anywhere, anytime whenever you feel stressed or anxious, or just to help you bring your world back into focus.

BETSYS SAYS, IF YOU ONLY DO ONE THING THIS WEEK
Spend some unselfish time with your family and friends, and let them know how important they are to you.  It is by far our most precious gift and so few of us realise it.