Ask Betsy

Dear Betsy,
My best friend isn’t so nice to me anymore. We have been friends for eight years since we were at junior school together and we used to do everything together.

We even went on holidays with each other’s families and I just love her mum. Now she just says she’s busy when I ask her to come over and spend time together. She always says she is tired or has to do something for her mum, but I don’t believe her. It made me sad when I saw her in the shopping mall with a new girl who just moved into her compound.
They were laughing and having a good time even though when I asked her to come to the mall with me she said she couldn’t as she was busy. I feel lonely and sad and don’t know what I did wrong or what I can do to do to get my friend back.
Nayla  

Dear Nayla,
I am sure there are many of us who will remember the same thing happening to them at some time in our lives.
You don’t say how old you are but when we are growing up, we change and sometimes we just grow in different directions from our friends. It doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. Your  friend may just  find it easier to spend time with this new girl as she lives close to her, or she may just be trying to be nice and help her feel welcome.
Why don’t you invite the new girl and your friend around together? Or you could suggest that you all go to the mall/cinema/pool together. I am sure you have other friends at school too (or neighbours?) so try to involve them in your plans from now on.
The most important word here is “plans” as your social life and friendships won’t just happen by chance. You need to plan ahead for next weekend and be the one responsible for organising an activity and inviting others to join you.
Strong friendships are a two way street, where you both compromise sometimes and support each other from time to time.
Selfish friendships where one person always gets their way or makes constant demands without reciprocating are doomed to failure in the long run. Life has a way of making things happen that cause us to stop and take a good look at ourselves and our situation ... turn this into a learning curve and cultivate more friendships and find out what you really value in a friend and explore what you really expect from a friend and what you are prepared to give in return.
I will have no sympathy for you if you just give up and stay at home alone whingeing and complaining ... as if you do then that’s how you may well end up ... alone. So I hope my reply motivates you to  plan a fun activity this weekend and invite others who really deserve to be your friends! Keep me posted with your progress and have fun!
Dear Betsy,
Why can’t I get my legs waxed without horrid yellow pimples breaking out afterwards? Shaving just makes me itch so please don’t suggest that to me instead.
Carmine

Dear Carmine,
I wish I had a dinar for every time I have been asked this question!  If waxing is done professionally and hygienically then this type of reaction should not happen.
Poor preparation of the skin, contaminated wax, wrong waxing technique and poor after care can all be blamed for this.  There are some things you can do or ask your beauty therapist to do, to avoid this.
 First of all, your legs should be clean and oil free. Best not to apply any body lotion the day you are having waxing.  The therapist should then cleanse your legs with surgical spirit or similar alcohol based lotion. This will remove any sebum (your skin’s natural oil) perspiration and bacteria etc.
Next I like to use a light dusting of fragrance free talc before the wax is applied. Depending on the type of wax used, the temperature should be correct, (not too hot) the therapist should wash her hands or wear gloves.
The correct application and removal of the wax is essential to success. It should be applied with the growth of the hair (downwards, from root to tip of hair) and removed against the growth of the hair (upwards, from end to root). Some therapists may just be lazy and not bother to check the hair growth direction properly as in some areas like the back of the leg, the hair growth direction can change many times over, meaning the therapist must keep checking and altering her application technique, on the other hand many therapists are just totally ignorant of this (poor training) and don’t realise they are doing anything wrong.
If hairs do not come out in an area it is not acceptable to keep re-waxing over and over again as it can traumatise the area causing the skin to become over sensitised and result in burning, peeling and itching of the skin. (Scratching can cause infected pimples).
Remaining hairs can be removed with sterilised tweezers.
You should also be advised by your therapist to avoid the following things for 24 to 48 hours depending on your skin sensitivity:  hot baths, sauna, steam baths, infra red or any other heat treatments, swimming pools, Jacuzzis etc, sunbathing, perfumed skin products, wearing tights or very tight jeans or trousers. 
In some cases it may be necessary to obtain medical help with the sort of reoccurring infected pimples you describe as you may have developed a condition that requires application of a topical antibiotic cream.
 It is never a good idea to take chances with your health and even the smallest of skin problems should not be ignored as they can easily develop into a nasty infection especially in our harsh summer climes.
Professional waxing can produce very successful results so it pays to find a properly qualified therapist. I won’t suggest shaving to you, but other alternatives such as IPL (intense pulsed light) for hair removal are becoming more popular.
Finally, you could adopt a more ‘selective European’ approach to body hair and let it grow unhindered!
If that is just being too liberally feminist for you then try wearing trousers ... always.

Dear  Betsy,
Is it true that the tooth fairy has to leave you money for each tooth that comes out?
Last time I had two teeth come out and she only left me the same one dinar that she left my brother when one of his teeth came out.
Sheba, age 8

Dear Sheba,
This is a difficult question to answer. It might be that the tooth fairy made a mistake or maybe she had run out of money that night. I think the best way to find out is to leave a note for the tooth fairy, asking her, and politely pointing out that you did leave two teeth for her. Give the note to your mum and dad to leave in a safe place for her and I have a feeling that once she reads your note she will pay up.  Sweet dreams and keep brushing your teeth.

Betsy Says relax...
A good belly laugh releases endorphins, those feel good hormones, so rent your favourite comedy movie, tell each other jokes or just recall your funniest personal experiences and share them with friends.

If only you do one thing this week
Visit our fabulous National Museum and experience the Wonders of the Pharoes Exhibition. The National Museum is a real treasure at any time of the year but for the next few weeks you can escape into the wonders of ancient Egypt without leaving these shores.