It’s a visual treat!

If ever there were a critic-proof movie, this is surely it. Its predecessor was the highest-earning release of last year, and it left everything to be settled in this final instalment.

Even if it consisted of nothing but Johnny Depp picking his nose with a cutlass for two-and-a-half hours, everyone would still have to go and see it for themselves, wouldn’t they? Our weapons are useless against it.
Fortunately, it’s more entertaining than watching Depp pick his nose, but this is one hulking, cumbersome beast of a movie. Freighted with box-office booty, impossibly high expectations and a cast of characters that’s sprawling out of control like a many-tentacled sea monster, it’s a very different picture from the first fleet-footed, light-hearted movie.
In what’s become standard practice for threequels, the masters of the Pirates franchise felt that the only way they could top the previous two movies was to give us more of everything: more colourful characters, more nautical mythology, even bigger special effects, all building up to a colossal, decisive “everyone vs everyone else” battle, just like The Lord of the Rings, the Matrix Reloaded, and particularly Return of the Jedi, which this movie apes as sure as part two did The Empire Strikes Back.
As a result, a large portion of this film is spent pedantically aligning every character arc and plot detail so as to manoeuvre everyone into position for the big climax. At times you feel as if you’re watching inanimate figurines and model ships being shunted around a big map with sticks.
Nor is there much time for joking; everybody is too busy cutting deals in this movie. There are more pacts and agreements and changes of allegiance and negotiations over terms and conditions than most viewers will be able to keep track of.
Of course, movies like this aren’t about the fiddly detail, they’re about broad strokes, and on that level, Pirates still delivers better than most. The best way to enjoy it is to ignore all the fancy-dress board meetings, turn off your confused brain and simply give your eyes a treat.
There’s always something to marvel at. Things begin with a trip to Singapore to bring Chow Yun-Fat and his Chinese pirate crew on board - ostensibly to borrow his ship, but the real reason, I suspect, is to pick up a bargain lot of Oriental costumes for Keira Knightley. By now, Knightley has made the transition to fully fledged pirate status. She’s armed to the teeth, and as handy with a cutlass as her perennially wet paramour, Orlando Bloom.
This diversion is followed by a mission to sail off the edge of the world and rescue Depp’s Jack Sparrow, and it’s the most spectacular thing in the film. There are vast polar caverns and dark, starlit seas full of dead souls, while Depp is trapped in a bleached- out desert hell populated only by versions of himself and rocks that turn into crabs - something like Dante meets Being John Malkovich.
Similarly, the big showdown takes place on two ships swirling around a vortex in the middle of the ocean, with storms raging and duels on the rigging and cannons booming - proper pirate stuff.
What, after all, is everyone actually fighting for? Just before the big battle, Knightley gives a stirring Braveheart-style pre- battle speech to rouse the troops in which she talks about “freedom” and “the pirate way”. These aren’t oppressed communities we’re talking about, or a popular liberation front, or even Jedi leading a rebel alliance, they’re pirates! They loot and pillage and generally flout the law, don’t they?

Deepak Babu, 18, who studies in India and is visiting his parents who live in Manama, said: “It’s a treat to see Pirates 3 on the first day and before everyone else – it’s not even released in India yet. I am really lucky.
“I liked this movie the best as there is a lot of Jack Sparrow compared to the other two films. The best part was the action scene at the end.”

Indian Anoop Sebastian, 18, from Hoora, said he was also a fan of the second Pirates movie and found the new one “a bit confusing as each character had a deal with the bad British guy (Cutler).
“I didn’t know who could be trusted.” Nevertheless, he said he particularly enjoyed the final battle scene.

Qatari Nasser Mohammed, 15 who is visiting Bahrain, has seen all three Pirates films. He liked the lastest offering. “I like this best as it has lots of action. I enjoyed the last scene very much. Jack Sparrow was wonderful as always.”

Satish Volvoicar, 18, who also studies in India and was visiting family in Bahrain, said he liked the first one best. “But in this movie it was good to see Keith Richards; we didn’t expect to see him at all so it was a surprise.”

Hisham Mohammed, 26, from Saudi Arabia, has also seen all three Pirates films. He said: “This one was okay but went on too long.”

Lara Semaan, 13, from Saar agreed with Maran. “The first one was the best because all the characters were introduced.” She also liked the amazing monkey.

Lara Abdul Rahim, 12, from Riffa, said: “I’ve seen the other two movies and I am so excited to see Jack Sparrow again!
“If only I were older I would run away with Jack. We hope they make another one. This should never end – Pirates should carry on just like the Bond movies.”  

Reem Al Rian, 13, from Saar, said her favourite character was played by Orlando Bloom. “He is so hot and Jack rocks! We all saw the midnight premier of the last one and it was awesome. We are very excited about seeing the latest one and hope they will make part 4.”

Mariam Omar, 13, from Saar, said she was a Captain Barbosa fan. “The first two films were awesome and we are very excited about seeing this one. I hope they make a part 4 too!”

Maran Al Haddad, 13, from Jasra, said: “The first Pirates movie was very funny. As long as Jack Sparrow is in it I will watch it any day!”

Bahraini Shereen Abbas, 18, a student enjoying her gap year, put her thumbs up for the Pirates 3 film.
“The movie is amazing. It’s hard to say which scene I enjoyed most as there are so many good bits. I loved Jack in his multiple roles.
“Pirates 1 was funnier but Pirates 3 has more action.”

Shereen’s South African friend Tauriq Samaai, 21, from Budaiya, said he enjoyed the new movie for its funny lines, action and excellent special effects.
“It was different to see Swann shed her previous princess persona and become a pirate in this movie – they made her look rough and tough. The introductory scene when Swann turned in her weapons was fantastic.”

Review: Steve Rose - Audience interview: Sahar Mulla