Ask Betsy

Dear Betsy,
Give me a suggestion for a gift for graduation for my neighbour’s daughter. Not too expensive please!
Bella, Manama

Dear Bella,
How about a photo frame that she can keep her graduation photo in?
You could find a silver one  and  have it engraved with her name and “Class of 2007”.  A bottle of perfume, a cuddly toy, flowers, chocolates, are all good choices for a girl. I think that the most important thing is to send your gift with a greetings card where you can express your good wishes. I find that many people treasure these long after the gifts have gone or been forgotten!

Dear Betsy,
Thanks for the article about BO! We have a similar problem in our place of work and we found your suggestions very helpful.  We tried the sniffing armpits thing and it worked as the person did the same thing and realised he was pongy and since then he smells divine! I must confess we later showed him your article and he had a good laugh about it and the armpit sniff thing has become our office joke. 
Thanks and keep up your great articles, we all love them.
The Sweet Smelling Team

Dear Sweet Smelling Team,
Glad to hear it helped and gave you all a good laugh into the bargain! Just shows that by sharing a problem you can help so many others, so, keep those emails coming.

Dear Betsy,
I have very bad skin. It is always full of pimples, greasy and with black marks. I hate myself and don’t want to go to school. The kids tease me and call me names and even one teacher asked me what’s wrong with my face in front of my classmates.  Sometimes I go to the toilet and cry.  My mum says it’s my age (14) and won’t help me.  What can me do.?
Upset girl of Gudaibiya

Dear Upset Girl of Gudaibiya,
I am so glad that you wrote to me. I know this is not an easy time for you, but having the courage to write and ask for help is the first brave step.  I am sure your friends at school don’t mean to upset you and that teacher should have been more professional and tactful in her approach and talked to you in private.   If you have a favourite teacher then maybe you could go and talk to her privately and tell her how you feel?
The thing to remember when people make upsetting remarks is that they too have their own unhappiness and problems to deal with and, sadly, some people cope by being mean to others. (Although sometimes it’s just thoughtlessness and sheer ignorance).
 My favourite way to deal with mean or rude people is to “kill them with kindness”, meaning just be SO nice back to them, look them in the eye and smile, that eventually they start to give up, think about their behaviour and hopefully this provokes them into behaving in a nicer way.
 You can always try to use humour to answer them back, but I know that it is not so easy to think of something witty to say when you are upset. 
Crying in the toilets won’t solve anything, although the hormonal release that crying can bring can make us feel better. Feeling so emotional is normal at your age as your hormonal levels can dip and soar throughout the day making you feel super emotional. This hormonal activity can affect your mood and of course your skin.  It does pass, but right now you need some coping mechanisms.
It is normal to get pimples, blackheads and oily skin at this time but the important thing is how you deal with them.
Make an appointment with your mum, Tell her you need to talk to her. When she sees how calm and serious and adult you are being about this then I am sure she will be ready to help you. 
Simple skin care at home can be very effective but you must have some patience.  You must eat well, Drink lots of water, get enough good quality sleep, and be consistent in taking care of your skin.
A simple wash-off cleansing gel is best and using it twice a day will make a difference. Twice a week you need to do some gentle deep cleansing and exfoliation, followed by a Face Mask. A daily water-based moisturiser and a chemical and fragrance free sun block should be worn every day. Make-up at school is usually discouraged, but I am sure a discreet concealer could be used if you have areas that you want to cover up.
Don’t spray perfume on your skin as this can cause photosensitivity and result in dark pigmentation marks.
Keeping your hair clean and off your face and changing your pillow case frequently will all help promote good skin health.
If you find you have  some really active pustules then apply a drop of neat Tea Tree essential oil on a cotton bud before going to bed and this will help dry it up and heal it quickly.  Try adding one drop of tea tree to your cleansing gel twice a week for a deeper cleanse.
Balancing your emotions and learning to relax will also have a positive effect on your skin and your confidence.
Try running a warm bath and adding a cup of full fat milk that you have added the following pure essential oils to: Three drops of lavender, two drops of geranium, three drops of grapefruit, two drops of tea tree.
This is an excellent bath blend for skin care, (tea tree) relaxing (lavender) balancing your hormones (geranium) and an instant mood booster (grapefruit).
You can experience a fast-fix mood-lifter at any time by putting one drop of geranium, two of lavender and three of grapefruit onto a tissue and inhaling it deeply, in through your mouth and out through your nose. Keep this with you throughout the day at school.
If you are also experiencing problems with your menstrual cycle or have any other health concerns it would be best to consult a sympathetic doctor to make sure you have no underlying hormonal imbalance. Ask your mum to take you to see Dr Ruth at the American Mission Clinic in Saar, if you don’t already have a family physician that you feel comfortable with.
This can be a wonderful time in your life so think positively, be proactive and enjoy being a teenager!