Flip through the latest issue of Gulf Weekly.
I've done a lot of writing about relationships recently, be it about friends or partners, but what I haven't yet touched on is one thing we've all been through at some stage or another
No matter how popular or outgoing a person might be, we've all at one point been the new person somewhere or found ourselves in a situation where we didn't know anyone and weren't quite sure what to do about it. Loneliness is an ugly thing because no matter who you are, it leaves you with the feeling of being unloved and unlovable. It can bring you down so much that you begin to blame yourself and start to second-guess your own self-worth.
If you do find yourself at a stage in your life where you're lonely, don't know anyone and are beginning to wonder if you're ever going to go out and have fun again, it's worth remembering that as lonely as you are, you're not alone. Like I said, we've all been there at some point or another and while you're sitting at home feeling sorry for yourself, there - loneliness.are millions of people around the world feeling exactly the same way as you are. The only difference between you and someone who's got lots of friends is that they've gone out and done something about it.
If you allow loneliness to get the better of you and start getting depressed about it, you're seriously heading for a downward spiral and when you land at the bottom you'll realise you don't have the ability to get out of it anymore so the first thing you need to do is accept that being alone doesn't mean people don't want to know you, it just means that they haven't had the chance to get to know you.
It stands to reason that if you sit at home all day and don't make an effort to socialise with others, you'll never have the chance to make new friends and get out of your lonely state. And if you don't know anyone, going out on your own to try and meet people can be a very daunting prospect. But it doesn't have to be.
The most important thing to remember is that you need to get out there and do things. Even if you are shy and can't bring yourself to go out and meet people, you can't stay home alone all the time because if you do you'll slowly drive yourself mad.
We all need to have some form of contact with the outside world to keep ourselves sane, so even if it means taking yourself out to the shops or going to the cinema on your own, do it - because wallowing alone in your own misery is never going to solve the problem and if you're out and about in any capacity, there is always the chance someone will strike up a conversation with you.
Once you've started going out, you want to actually get to know people and to get yourself started in a way that doesn't have to be scary or intimidating, you could sign up for some volunteer work - whether it's at the local animal sanctuary or a charity that's dear to your heart, it means you're going to come in contact with people you've never met before.
The natural progression of things will mean that you will strike up conversations with people who share the same interest as you. From there you can organise to meet up with those people in a more social situation.
Another option is to think about what it is that you enjoy doing and then go out and do it. If you love to dance, take dance classes or if you love to read join your local book club. Whatever it is that you like to do, there are plenty of others out there that also enjoy doing the same thing and it's therefore a great opportunity to meet people.
The internet is also a great way to bring people together and joining an online community can be a relatively painless way of getting to know people, but you have to bear two things in mind.
Firstly, the internet allows you to be anyone you want to be, which means it can do the same for others so be careful about who you get talking to and don't organise to meet anyone face-to-face unless you're sure they're who they say they are - and even then, make sure you meet up somewhere public and safe.
Secondly, the internet can be very addictive and if you're spending a lot of time online chatting to complete strangers, you're not out in the 'real' world getting to know people face-to-face which means once you sign off you'll find yourself alone again. Use the internet to find out where you can go to meet people but don't use it as an alternative to going to meet people.
My mother always used to say that bored people are boring and when I was a lot younger I had a hard time understanding what she meant, but as I grew up I started to understand.
When you spend a lot of time alone, you start to lose track of what's going on in the outside world and you start having problems interacting with others. If you're not really doing much of anything, you don't have anything to talk about to people when you do eventually find yourself in a social situation so make sure that you get out there and do something ... anything, just so long as when you're talking to people you have something to talk about.
