Movie’s sour taste

SOME things age like cheese while others age like milk. It’s a sad truism that cannot be disputed and is also a fitting analogy for my thoughts on Killer Elite.

It seems unfair to keep relying on aging action heroes like Bruce Willis or Sly Stallone to cater to the needs of action movie fans. These guys have done their time and after watching the Expendables last year, it’s safe to say they’re not up to the task anymore.

During the last Rocky movie, I was pretty sure that the only thing Stallone should’ve been fighting was arthritis and it’s clear that the action genre needs new stars more than I need snappy new one-liners to critisise it.

Over the past 10 years, there have only been a handful of action actors who might just save the day, including Jason Statham - who at a sprightly 43 - is practically the last hope for a genre that is dying faster than the anonymous bad guys inherent therein.

Do you hear me Jason? You’re the last hope, pull your socks up mate, people are relying on you … action fans, damsels in distress and, more importantly, the pyrotechnic experts who make their living from creating explosions in movies!

Admittedly, Killer Elite is one of the better Statham movies I’ve seen, but it still falls horrifically short of the mark.

To set the scene, Danny (Statham) is a hit man on his latest job somewhere in Mexico but when it doesn’t go according to plan, he decides to retire and move home to Australia.

After swapping his hand guns for handheld drills, he begins to renovate an old house and enjoy the quiet life. He even sparks up a relationship with his old childhood friend Anne and life seems pretty peachy … until he finds out his mentor, Hunter, (De Niro) has been kidnapped.

If you’re thinking, ‘this sounds familiar’ it’s probably because it is. Yet, despite bearing a striking similarity to the plot of Rambo 3, this film isn’t half as exciting.

Cue the male-bravado and adrenaline pumping music and in a flash, Danny’s off to the Middle East to bring Hunter home safely.

After some obligatory fighting and a bit of cliché banter, it transpires that Hunter’s captor (a Shaikh nonetheless) will only set him free if Danny takes one last assassination gig. 

The job is to assassinate three British soldiers who killed the Shaikh’s sons during a botched rebellion a few years earlier. Danny’s instructions are clear - find the men, record their confessions and then make their deaths look accidental … sounds easy enough.

After enlisting some help from some old friends (who fortunately happen to also be former assassins) Danny sets out to find the targets and kill them as quickly as possible … and he does just that. After two quick fire ‘accidental’ deaths it just seemed too easy, where’s the struggle? Where’s the conflict?

Luckily, Spike (Owen) is on hand to keep things interesting with his holier than thou British mentality. Spike is a member of the elite group of ex-SAS officers who killed the Shaikh’s sons and is bewildered by the sudden demise of his friends.

There’s a predictable showdown between the two which I’ll begrudgingly admit features some great choreography and well shot action sequences (well, it was about time!).

Towards the end, there’s a slight plot twist involving Hunter that was a welcome distraction from what was otherwise a dull and predictable movie.

Statham does his trademark tough-guy routine throughout the film, killing anything that moves, all the while looking unimpressed and stoic. He doesn’t seem fazed by explosions and is swooned over by the ladies … pretty much what you’d expect.

That’s the problem I have with Statham (besides the fact he’s richer and better looking than me), he never gives you anything different. He plays the same roles, the same way and it’s boring. It’s such a shame because with the right script and a little work, he could be the savior of the genre.

De Niro is unquestionably a great actor and because of that, I’ve finally forgiven him for the whole ‘meet the’ fiasco. However, just when he climbed back into my good graces, he agreed to make this movie and now he’s back on my enemies list!

I felt like he could have phoned in his performance with more impact. There’s no doubt he’s capable of shining in the role, but for some reason, he just didn’t and that was more disappointing than anything Statham did.

Owen handled his role well and gets extra points for playing a tough-guy while sporting a very dubious moustache.

If you’re thinking of watching an action movie, don’t pick this one. Save yourself some time and a lot of disappointment and just rent Die Hard, it never fails to deliver … like good cheese.

Showing in Cineco, Seef II and Saar Cineplex