Compromise: n. An agreement reached by each side making concessions. An intermediate state between conflicting opinions.
One of the social problems we as humans have to face is that we are all at heart selfish. To what degree depends on the person but the basic truth is that on a primal level we all want to do what suits us best. Finding a common ground that both parties can agree on can be a difficult thing to achieve and often one person will end up feeling hard done by but it’s important to bare in mind it’s not the size of what you give up that counts, it’s the effect of what you gain that makes it all worthwhile.
“Compromise should result in both parties being happy with the outcome. It doesn’t mean that one person has to give up the same amount as the other person, it just means that both should get the something they need out of it”, says Corinne Wakefield. “When I got married my husband asked me to give up smoking. I had been smoking for over 15 years and it wasn’t something I was ready to do but it meant a lot to him so it was something I was prepared to do to make him happy. He was very fair about it and said that if I gave up he would give up something of my choice too. The obvious choice for me would have been his passion for sky diving because every time he goes up in one of those planes I’m always terrified I’m going to get a phone call telling me he won’t be coming home. It would also have been comparable to the hardship I had to go through to give up smoking. In the end though I couldn’t bring myself to stop him doing something that brought him so much pleasure. Steve is a very caring person but romance has never been his strong point so instead of asking him to give up something he loved, I asked him to do something that would help keep me happy and I made a deal with him that no matter how busy our lives were he would organise a ‘date night’ for just the two of us every couple of weeks. Six years down the line, I feel healthier than I’ve ever been and our marriage is as strong as it’s ever been. Although Steve has got a stressful and time consuming job, he has kept his word and organised a special date for me twice a month and as a result we haven’t grown apart like a lot of couples we know”.
Compromise definitely plays it’s part in making the world a better place but it’s important to remember that there are some thing you should never compromise on. If you believe strongly enough in something, fight your corner and stick to it no matter what.
