Dear Betsy, I have just moved to Bahrain and have found a great apartment for my family who will join me in January.

My wife has given me the task of selecting the furniture. She wants it to have a totally modern contemporary look with bold colours.

I don't have a lot of time to go hunting around the shops and the ones I have visited so far have been selling traditional, old fashioned stuff. Where do I find modern furniture in Bahrain?

AJ Lennox

Dear AJ,

You are a very brave man. This is not something you are allowed to get wrong!

It's not like buying her a T-shirt that you can return if it doesn't happen to take her fancy.

The home dŽcor trend in Bahrain is now moving towards trendy contemporary furniture as lots of people purchase apartments - the type more easily suited to modern living.

There are several places you can check out. For smooth Scandanavian-style visit ID Design in the Sitra Mall or on Budaiya Road.

Chic Italian leather designer sofas can be found in Almoayyed Furnishings (Calia Italia) on Sehla Road and at Phonecia DŽcor in Seef area (Natuzzi and Koncept).

If budget is not a constraint then uber-luxury interiors can be found at Ligne Roset and Roche Bobois in Seef.

For value-priced modern glass and lacquer dining and bedroom sets visit Adliya Furnishings on Sehla Road.

Off-the-wall glamour and glitz can be found at THE ONE in Al A'Ali Mall in the Seef area.

Black, white, silver, chocolate, tangerine, scarlet and peacock are the main theme colours this season so you should be able to find something that fits your wife's requirements.

If you have anything left in your budget, post-purchase, I suggest you invest in some massage therapy specially tailored to treat stress and anxiety. Marriage counselors, although not yet as readily available as in the UK, are now to be found on the island.

Lastly, fill the apartment with fresh flowers, scented candles, chocolates and some serious fizz and you might just get away with it!

In the meantime, have daily lavender baths to help stop the nightmares and to control your cold sweats.

Dear Betsy,

I am suffering badly from anxiety and panic attacks and had been taking medication to help me as a short term solution. My doctor has stopped this now and recommends I try to reduce stress and learn to relax. My husband and children have been understanding but my boss is not so accommodating. I just want to get back to normal and I would like to explore other natural ways to help me control this problem. What do you suggest?

BH

Dear BH

This can be very distressing. I understand how you feel as I too suffered like this many years ago. What helped me most of all was to understand exactly what happened to my body when I had a panic attack. Once I understood what took place like palpitations, shallow breathing, feeling faint, pins and needles etc and the reasons these things were happening to me (changes in blood circulation, blood chemistry, not taking in enough oxygen or getting rid of enough carbon dioxide etc) then I found this helped me to feel better. I am sure you had been advised to try to figure out what provokes a panic attack and to try to avoid these situations/people/places but for some of us, we never work out exactly what the causes are.

Learning to relax can be difficult and the best place to start is to try to recognise what your 'stressors' are then find a way to avoid or overcome these stressors. For example, you might find that certain work situations like meeting deadlines stress you, so aim to plan ahead and find ways to maximise your time to meet these deadlines.

Delegate whenever you can. This is not something that women find easy, but it can help ease pressure on you at work and at home, which brings me to another area that many working wives and mums find challenging. Having to cook every night is stressful so let your husband share this with you, have a takeaway once a week and have a meal out when you can.

Do you take time out just for yourself? This can be as simple as having a warm scented bath or half an hour reading in peace and quiet or listening to your favourite music. Your husband and the kids have to be told not to disturb you that this is 'mummy's special time". If you are stressed and anxious then you need to take care of yourself first or you will not be in any fit state to take care of everyone else. Try to have a relaxing massage or book a facial, go out with a girlfriend to see a movie, have lunch or just a coffee and a chat. Simple relaxation and meditation techniques can help as can exercise such as aquarobics, yoga, or swimming or try a stretch class.

I always carry a small bottle of frankincense essential oil with me as it can help ease panic and anxiety as it slows down your respiratory rate and has a comforting, calming, soothing effect on the senses. Take a vitamin B Complex supplement as this is essential for our nervous system. Herbal teas such as chamomile and rosehip can be helpful as can eating fresh natural foods especially those high in magnesium such as a handful of pumpkin, sunflower and sesame seeds or a healthy dinner of grilled salmon and spinach. Magnesium rich foods can help relax your nerves and muscles.

A positive attitude is most important and if you just keep telling yourself you CAN get through this and imagine and visualise yourself back to your normal self then it WILL happen. Having a good friend to confide in can be a great boost as that old adage, "a problem shared is a problem halved" is very true. I am sorry I can't offer you a quick fix miracle cure, but modern life can be very stressful for most of us at some time or another and it is just a matter of learning what works for you to help you relax, manage stress and organise your life.