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EMOTIONAL intelligence is about building the best possible relationships with yourself and with others. It is a core set of competencies which can enrich our lives and build the capacity to create better relationships and a happier outlook.
Daniel Goleman made 'emotional intelligence', or EI, a household name by examining the research of Peter Salovey and John Mayer in the mid-1990s. He says it has five domains: self-awareness, self-management, motivation, relationship awareness and relationship management.
Children go through different stages in developing their emotions. For example sadness, happiness and fear can be identified by children as young as three via nonverbal indications and body language such as facial expression and tone of voice.
In very young children we should start to build their emotional literacy letting them know it is OK to have different feelings, that all feelings have a purpose and helping them learn to label those feelings and then manage them effectively.
The capacity to recognise and comprehend emotions develops as we grow older. Children in the six-to-nine age range develop more of an interest in social sensibilities and friendships. Teachers of this age group need to realise the power of emotion and how it impacts on retention of information learned at school.
Worksheets and textbooks full of facts are hardly going to stimulate many emotions from this age group who are curious and ready to explore the real world. Hands-on activities, re-enactments, discussions and artistic expression can enhance the emotional connections to the curriculum and are excellent tools for this age group.
More ideas for parents and teachers can be found at https://www.emotional-intellgience-education.com
During the tween-and-teen years the limbic or emotional brain is especially active. Children are going through huge changes in their bodies and minds. With hormones raging these youngsters need to have their social emotional learning opportunities at the forefront of their education before poor decisions are made that students may later regret.
Developing EI skills in children allows them to manage conflict with friends, resulting in positive outcomes. They can develop skills in self motivation, being optimistic and stress management. They are able to work co-operatively with others in and out of the classroom.
Children with high EI are also able to display empathy for others and may be instrumental in helping others with lower EI. These are skills that will help children well into adulthood. Imagine being taught at school how to manage your stress from a young age.
Research shows over and over again that schools which implement effective EI programmes have better academic results. If children can manage stressful feelings, have good relationships with their peers and teachers and are self-motivated, which are all EI skills, then they are bound to have an improved academic experience.
Many skills can be easily integrated into the regular curriculum at school as well as taught explicitly.
In the book Developing Children's Emotional Intelligence many practical solutions to develop EI in the school and at home are provided, for example one idea parents and teachers alike can use is bibliotherapy.
By using storybooks children are able to relate to characters experiencing the same situation and emotions that they are faced with.
Children learn primarily though modeling. They watch what we do, how we handle situations. It is important to show children how we handle stress, what we do when we are angry ... these will be key lessons.
l Developing Children's Emotional Intelligence has just been released by Continuum Publisher UK and is available at McGrudy's and other UAE bookstores. Helen Maffini holds an M.Ed in early childhood education and is a 6seconds certified emotional intelligence trainer. She currently lives in Al Ain and works in the educational reform project in the UAE. You can reach Helen at ghmaffini@gmail.com or visit her website https://www.emotional-intelligence-education.com
l Shanaz Bahman has written two children's activity books that aim at enhancing children's emotional intelligence and health. They are being taught in more than one school in Bahrain. She also wrote the assessment guides that go with her books. Experience wise, she has more than 20 years of work experience with children in both national and international schools. She has worked as a teacher, teacher trainer, curriculum developer, and educational advisor.
The Ask Betsy column will be back next week.
